Another ‘Abbott Elementary’ Couple Bites The Dust In An Unexpected Way

 

Jacob and Zach during happier times in season one’s Zoo Balloon.

Abbott Elementary’s Zach and Jacob delivered another heartbreak on our beloved comedy. The season three premiere previously showed Melissa dumping her boyfriend Gary, the vending machine guy while Gregory put an abrupt period on whatever could have been between him and Janine. Plus, Janine has temporarily left her treasured second grade classroom for a fellowship office at the school district. Since January, it seemed the audience emerged straight into a Philadelphia cold front.

Everyone shifted. Nothing was the same.

Offhandedly, Janine did reveal that she spent her summer with Jacob and Erika. So, where did that leave Zach if not hanging out with his boyfriend and his crust eating queen?

In Break Up, the fifth episode written by Brittani Nichols (Student Transfer, Ava Vs. Superintendent, Fundraiser, Principal’s Office, and Franklin Institute), Zach and Jacob hit a major snag. Instead of expressing his thoughts out loud ala that memorable “outgrowing a person” advice that he gave to Janine in season one’s Work Family, Jacob sets up passive aggressive tactics that would make anyone go insane. So yes, Zach was righteously angry. An intentional Jacob pushed Zach’s buttons— and those overdramatic gasps.... just amazingly conveyed. 

A teary Zach (Larry Owens) agrees that a breakup may be the right thing to do for him and Jacob (Chris Perfetti) in Break Up. DP: Michael J. Pepin.

When Zach realizes that Jacob has been manipulating the situation, a furious Zach snatches off any edges Jacob may have had. In that passionate, insult-filled spiel, Jacob probably realized he shouldn’t have bragged about his successful schemes. Zach releases “the kraken” and spills so much tea that you wonder how Jacob withstood the heat— and this is before teaching his class too. Damn.  

“And you held our team BACK at trivia night!” Zach snarls, emphasizing back with intentional zing.

If you remember in Desking, season one’s eleventh episode, Zach discloses that they came in third place, Jacob adding that it was due to a technicality. 

Zach looks back at Jacob one last time and departs on a singsong “oh my god.” Laughter comes gushing out uncontrollably. That was, hands down, the most funniest breakup ever witnessed. Not a dry eye in the house. While Melissa and Gary were sad yet amicable and Gregory and Janine crushed shipper spirits, Zach made history by going another route altogether. He was in pain, but wanted to make Jacob feel it too, and you had to respect it. 

Still, queer breakups are as tragic as the BYG trope, especially considering that there is so little evidence on network television at present. Streaming services showcase LGBTQIA+ relationships more— and in braver ways. Zach and Jacob appeared more buddy roommates than lovers. Several episodes showcased their major differences— Jacob being anti-holidays and carols while Zach loved singing and preferred people on-key. They always hugged. Never kissed. At least Zach and Jacob had sneakers in common— the thing that brought them together— and Jacob gushed about Zach in that cutesy, fanboy way whenever possible. Also, they loved mythology, Zach referencing the kraken sea monster and Jacob always bringing up Icarus, who flew close to the sun. These two are still in their twenties, the age of constant learning and growing, entering and leaving relationships, building themselves up and maturing in all facets of life. Maybe they can come back someday. Who knows? It’s fascinating to watch Jacob and Zach navigate the contemporary dating scene— even if we don’t get to see Zach’s journey onscreen. Jacob has Gregory and Janine. Together they’re a trio of singles becoming closer than ever. 

Overall, Abbott Elementary’s impressive ensemble kills it every week— guest stars of LGBTQIA+ community included. Sabrina Wu, the eccentric K-pop loving scene stealer of Adele Lim’s raunchy feature-length debut Joy Ride was Janine’s sub teacher of the week, Cassidy Geoffrey. The incredible Larry Owens, Zach’s portrayer who’s won major theater awards galore, must return. He could be a temporary choir teacher pretending not to harbor jealousy over Jacob’s dating “success” stories or just a raucous uncle chaperoning his nephew to eighth grade. Regular Chris Perfetti, our resident Mr. C, remains a wonderful gifted performer, nailing every beat of Jacob’s trials and tribulations.

Now with another couple’s recent demise, is Barbara and Gerald or Ava and Iggie [snorts] safe?